When I was a child, my parents never really use to drill using manners into me. My mother did the usual, “Say please,” “Where’s my thank you?” that sort of thing. Though believe it or not I could tell if what I had done something wrong. Mostly due to a look my father would give me. I never got hit by my parents, but the look my dad use to give me when I did something wrong, could send chills down your spine even if it was the hottest day.
I cannot recall how I actually did pick up being polite constantly. Maybe somewhere along the line it was constantly drilled to me, but I don’t think so. I honestly think it’s because my mother kept at it so often that it became a natural thing for me. To this day, it’s very rare that I do not thank anyone for the slightest thing or apologize when I did something wrong. Though the admitting I’ve done something wrong probably really comes from my favourite comedian Eddie Izzard. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RegxuU8NOhs)
But what really amazes me, is the lack of manners a lot of people do have. Now just because I say thank you and please quite often doesn’t mean that I expect a lot of other people to do the same. Though what I do expect is that if I am waiting for my coffee with about 20 other people, and one by one these people are called to collect that coffee and not one of those 20 people either give a nod or even a simple thank you to the person behind the counter who is stressing right about now because they have to serve everyone in this morning rush really shocks me. From what I’ve noticed just about every morning for the past 5 month, I have not seen one of these groups of people waiting for their coffee say thank you when they’ve received it.
Maybe I’m being a little too harsh or maybe it’s simply because I have worked in customer service for about 10 years, and I know what it is like to work behind a counter in a thankless job. I cannot explain it. Same thing when I catch the bus in the morning, everyone seems to rush off the bus without a simple thank you to the driver.
I think the sad think about all of this, is that we have to be reminded about using manners. On the bus there are signs to let people know to give up their seats to less mobile passengers. In the bathroom we have to be reminded to wash our hands before we leave the bathroom. Every day we have station announcers repeat for every train that rolls in to the station to step aside from the door and let the people get off the train first. The sad thing is? Even though we are reminded of this just about every day, we all know someone or give one person a dirty look within our minds when we see them going out of their way to ignore this simple politeness. Every morning and evening I see people crowded around the doors of the train without even stepping aside for a moment to let people off the train, and squeeze their way in. All because they want to quickly run in and grab a seat, even though they’ve probably have been sitting at their desk all day.
In schools it is taught to young children that they must share with the rest of the children and always use manners. These teachers have to make sure throughout the day that the children that they are teaching for that day/week/year uses manners while in a classroom. I think this is fantastic stuff, as no one is singled out and every – including the teachers – have to use them as well. The depressing thing about it all is that some, not all, parents do not continue to use this at home. The moment they are picked up from school whoever picks them up swears & shouts at their kid. So whatever manners they’ve learnt throughout the day is gone within that single moment.
People (not just kids) like to fit in with other people. It’s human of us to want to be accepted by our peers. And if our friends/family/co-workers aren’t being polite and using manners, then most people don’t stand out and just follow the rest of the crowed. Now this is probably the part where I would either blame the parents bringing up their kids or society. It’s the nature versus nurture debate I guess. In my opinion both of these things do come into play. In the end though, it is really our choice.
To me manners symbolize respect for one another. So not just people I know, but people that I interact with every day of my life. When I get my morning coffee handed to me I smile and say ‘Thank you,’ because I actually do appreciate the person who is behind that counter who has to serve dozens of people in the morning rush. When the bus I catch in the morning stops at the destination I wanted to go in, I thank the driver for getting me there safely. Most of all if I’ve had a bad day and someone that I know takes the time to listen to me vent while I just shake off whatever has been bothering me; I thank them for taking time to listen to me. As we’ve all been there when something has been bothering us, and all we really needed was someone to listen.
So I’m going to end this by saying thank you to each and everyone one of you. For those times when you helped someone and never got acknowledged. For the times when stayed back after work and never been told that they appreciate what you do. For the times when you were there for a friend who needed someone to talk to. And mostly for the times when you just needed to know that you do was great.
Thank you!
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